chief editor at Sexography | aspiring alcoholic trying to navigate the modern world of dating

How come there’s still such a bold line between men and women when it comes to something as simple as sex?

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“When I first saw you at the party a few months ago, I thought you were a whore,” a friend of mine told me a few days ago. “But then I got to know you and realized I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

It wasn’t the first time someone thought or actually called me a slut after seeing me at a party or at the same company as them. And even though I don’t sleep with every guy I’m friends with, they still see me around a lot of men and make their own judgment.

“I remember a girl just like you. People kept talking shit about her. But she was a really good person,” the same friend told me later that day. …


By faking an orgasm and showing men that it really is that equally easy to make someone come, we only contribute to the orgasm gap.

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Cosmopolitan’s Female Orgasm Survey claims that only 57% of women usually have orgasms, where only 15% of women were able to achieve orgasm from vaginal intercourse with no additional clitoral stimulation.

Based on that data, you shouldn’t be ashamed of having a hard time achieving your orgasm and even more, feeling embarrassed to talk about it with your partner.

Even if you can come from penetration alone, the female body is way too complex for us to have an orgasm as quickly and easily as men. Sometimes, we’re not focused and concentrated enough and can just “lose it” right before it fully hits. Or, on contrary, we might not be relaxed enough or have too much or on our mind. …


Being a sex writer doesn’t always mean you want to have sex every second of your life.

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Being a sex writer is an interesting job that expands your horizons and helps you reflect on a lot of experiences knowing it could potentially help someone who is going through a similar problem. However, it’s also a burden that becomes heavier the more people from your real-life discover your writing.

I don’t write under a pen name and often mention my non-sexual articles on my personal social media. It’s not a secret that I’m the co-founder of Sexography because to me, there’s no shame in raising the importance of sex education and sex-positivity in our modern world.

But there’s a reason I don’t like to share my articles with my friends or people who follow me on my personal social media such as Instagram. …


And for a little while, it makes you feel the world is a bit more beautiful and fulfilled than it used to be.

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There are songs in this world that feel like love.

They are slowed and warm. As though they are suddenly playing inside your belly. The sound goes deeper as the butterflies inside you carry them up and down, creating a storm of uncertain warm feelings called love.

At that moment, even if you don’t have anyone in your life. You start to feel something about someone.

There are people like that, too. They feel warm even if they’re cold. Deep, even though they might be the most superficial persons in this world. Still, you see them just like you once heard the sound of that song, and you fall for them unconsciously, letting your butterflies carry their image through your brain, veins, and guts. …


Maybe it’s time we stop comparing women with objects and let them be and enjoy all the sex they deserve?

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A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine about her ex-boyfriend when she suddenly brought up that one piece of casual sex she had years ago. It seemed like she was embarrassed by it though based on her words, it was one of the best sexual experiences she’s ever had.

I asked her why she talks about it as a mistake if the sex was so good after she told me she never supported the concept of casual sex and always judged women who can sleep with someone on a first, second, and even the third date. …


If you truly care about making a woman come, you shouldn’t just fuck her and hope for the best.

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When people find out I write about sex and manage my own publication dedicated to Sex Education and Sexuality, they react differently. Some get really surprised and excited and ask a lot of questions about my work and things I get to see and read about, others, on the other hand, get worried because suddenly, they don’t know what to expect from having sex with me.

Back in January, when I brought home a guy I went on a few dates with, he frequently asked me whether or not I’m going to write about him and our sex in my articles. …


Life is too short to not have all the sex and fun you deserve. And it sure does help you explore your sexuality better as long as you’re safe.

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A few months ago, I found myself in a rather dark place. I wasn’t depressed the way I usually get, but life suddenly became useless without a drink or a pill. It happened soon after a guy I’d been seeing for the first time after my last serious relationship had left me for another woman just when I started opening up to him and felt like we both began falling in love with each other. A day later, I found out that he was seeing someone else. Someone more suitable for him. Prettier perhaps. …


Though I absolutely saw it coming

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“It’s going to be so dark every morning soon,” I typed with barely enough strength to stretch out my thumb and press it against my phone. I was reflecting on the fact that it’s now autumn in Russia and Winter is coming. My friend replied, “I’m envious. Sometimes I stay up all night just to enjoy the darkness.” It felt like we were on the same page, but so far away from each other.

It came on suddenly, I felt very weak, had a slight fever and stuffy nose with a minor cough, and so I started treating myself for a common cold. …


Is it really that romantic to date a writer?

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There seems to be some kind of prejudice around dating creative genius people, whether it’s a writer, poet, painter, artist, or professor of some sort.

Our culture has been romanticizing artists for ages, despite them often living abusive, toxic, problematic, and miserable lives, full of betrayals, difficult emotions, and pain. Considering that romanticism, I can see the sentiment that might be so appealing to the young.

But is it always necessarily hot to date an artist, specifically a writer?

When I was eighteen, I fell in love with a young talented artist. He was barely older than me, but he’d already created significant paintings — more accomplishment than I had made in my life. Back then, I was obsessed with the mystery around these artsy people, and soon enough, I found myself working as a model in a famous Imperial Academy of Arts. …


I always tried to see the beauty in my curves and shapes and put it out there. Was it now considered somewhat slutty and problematic, as she described it in her article?

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My date and I were sitting in a cozy bar with dim lighting and candles around the tables last night as my phone kept lighting up every other second. As a bartender, he was telling me about all the nuances of my favorite drinks from the bar I love going to when he suddenly looked at my phone that kept ringing and lighting up.

‘Is everything okay?’ — he asked.

‘Umm, yes, it’s just… the entire Twitter’s defending my ass… literally.’

You see, that morning I woke up from the ream of messages from my fellow Medium writers and followers, talking about the same article some woman wrote here on Medium. …

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