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chief editor at Sexography | aspiring alcoholic trying to navigate the modern world of dating | |

The lessons that came to me after my belief in first love and rose-colored glasses were smashed to the dust.

Flora Westbrook: Pexels

I joined the dating scene at the age of 19. Before that, despite being quite curious and sexual, I never had any kind of experience in that field. So, as I started seeing someone who was almost 10 years older than me, I was fully dependent on him and his experience.

Throughout the years I’d been in a loving yet very toxic relationship I learned a lot of lessons about love I would forever apply in my dating life.

However, there were more significant lessons I learned only after fully getting over my first real relationship. The lessons that came…

Even though we’re making progress in terms of gender equality, there’s still a lot of prejudice out there.

Photo by Hannah Xu on Unsplash

Studies show that approximately 80%-90% of women reporting sexual assaults knew their assailants. However, our society has a tendency to divide rape into multiple categories wheres rape by a friend or someone you know isn’t considered as serious as if happened with a stranger in the bush.

People think that if you were raped or harassed by someone you know, you could have avoided it by being less flirty, provocative, open, or clear with your intentions.

A victim-blaming strategy like this is a good defense mechanism that helps those people believe that they are surrounded by good men and can…

But aren’t we all? At least a little bit?

cottonbro: Pexels

A few days ago I was talking to my colleague and friend when he suddenly said, “You’re called a Homie Hopper here in America lol.”

Not knowing what it is, I immediately googled it. To my surprise, it wasn’t an insult but rather an accurate description of me:

“A girl or guy that (hooks up/has sex with) from one person to another, where the people they choose to hook up with are within the same group of friends (homies).”

I thought about it long before I heard this expression. Though most people usually have one or two circles of friends…

Even if your intentions are good

Keira Burton: Pexels

Have you ever thought about how much impact the words we’re saying to other people can affect their mood — even if our intentions were good? When we don’t realize that our “compliment” might stick with that person for the rest of the day or even a week, or bring out an insecurity they once had? Some quite common compliments really can be toxic.

1. You’re so short/tiny!

Being 5'2, I used to be extremely self-conscious about my height. But, as I grew up and started to look older, I completely forgot about it. I don’t think about my height and sometimes, I even…

Sometimes it’s hard to accept that our bodies change. Especially when you feel like you have no control over it.

Sora Shimazaki: Pexels

Being 5'2 tall, my weight never went over 44 kg (97 lb) no matter how much I ate or moved. I had a flat stomach I didn’t have to work for, perfect legs everyone at school was jealous of, and quite small breasts. I was happy with my genetics. After all, I didn’t have to count my calories, sweat in the gym every day, or worry about gaining weight.

In a way, life is unfair.

Why does someone get to have clear skin while not even caring to wash it, while others spend a fortune on skincare but continue to…

But instead, they ban people like me without an explanation.

Yan Krukov: Pexels

I was never a fan of Tinder. The idea of meeting with complete strangers not knowing for sure if you’d like them enough to survive a single date was never inspiring enough to keep the app for more than a few days. Old-fashioned or not, I’ve always preferred to meet people in real life. …

Does aggression really help when it becomes the only way we address these issues?

Alex Green: Pexels

Every day I open my social media and see people being canceled and threatened for everything under the sun.

Of course, I’m not here to defend offenders. But when I see people sending death threats and insults to women for the simple crime of wearing dreadlocks or burning sage in their apartments, I start to wonder if maybe we’ve gone a bit too far?

Today, Twitter became something I avoid opening, mainly because it feels like 80% of the content I see there is centered around fights and hate speech about everything you can and can’t imagine.

I remember creating…

New updates for our current and prospective writers

Фото автора Julia M Cameron: Pexels

Hi everyone,

New Year, New Sexography. With time comes changes and with changes hopefully comes progress. In that spirit, we at Sexography have decided to reflect on our values and our mission, which is to bring high-quality conversations about human sexuality from around the world to our readers.

We’re looking for stories that will move people, stories that will inspire people, and stories that will make people think deeply about their sexuality and what it means to them.

In light of this, we’re updating the guidelines to reflect our mission and values. …

Don’t forget about fundamental traits that would help you connect and take your sexual adventure on a whole new level.

Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash

A few months ago I wrote an article pondering what really makes someone good at sex.

While working on that piece, I did a lot of research to go along with my own personal experience and the stories I’ve heard from my friends and co-writers.

Back then, the variety of answers and information I found was fascinating. There was no way to describe even a few qualities that were universally “good” or “bad” when it comes to sex. …

Maybe if we talked about it more, people wouldn’t feel ashamed to go to a doctor or talk to their sexual partners about safety?

cottonbro: Pexels

When I left my OBGYN’s office on New Year’s Day with a stack of medication and papers a week after my accidental unsafe sexual adventure, I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.

A sex writer and co-founder of sexual publication just got diagnosed with an STI. What a headline and a wonderful New Year’s present.

At first, I felt ashamed. I’ve always been extremely cautious about my health, had regular blood tests, necessary checkups, and STI swab tests almost every month when sexually active. However, we all tend to make mistakes. …

Julia Beaudett

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